Alonso: has expensive thumbs

Fernando Alonso has revealed that his thumbs are insured for �9m.
The Ferrari driver today signed a new sponsorship deal with Spanish banking and insurance giant Santander, which sees his shortest, fattest digits covered for �4.5m apiece.
A Santander spokesman said (and we only wish we were making this up): �Alonso�s thumbs are a big symbol as, apart from being essential when driving a Formula One car, they represent a sign of victory and that everything is under control and well protected.�
Yep, we�re pretty sure that�ll be Alonso�s biggest concern if he loses both his thumbs in a tragic threshing accident. �Oh, bugger. How am I going to indicate my happiness at having won a Grand Prix now?�
Celebrities insuring body parts is nothing new, of course. Ken Dodd�s infamous teeth were covered for �4m, Jamie Lee Curtis�s legs for �1m, and Michael Flatley�s feet for �30m.
Most famously, Jennifer Lopez � she of the bootay-wiggling fame � recently insured her posterior for a whopping �200m. Which does raise the question: what tragic scenario would have to befall her buttocks to trigger an insurance claim? And what would happen if Alonso�s thumbs somehow got stu� actually, don�t answer that.
But Alonso�s deal must surely open the floodgates for further strangely specific F1 insurance cover scenarios. We want your suggestions. Jenson�s beard? Surely that�s worth a couple of million? Massa�s repeated use of the phrase �for sure�? Imagine if he lost that. We must be talking a few hundred thousand to keep that baby safe.
Rumours that the entire Virgin F1 operation is insured for �35 by the Churchill dog could not be confirmed.

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